Conspiracy Theory Part II — Paranoia Mounts
Convinced that the youth of the climbing world are not only crankin’ too hard, but are also linked to a government subplot, Kip decides to go under cover — in third person. Kip turned to USA Climbing for answers but nobody was available. On the voicemail they stated that if you leave your name and number, they would call back as soon as possible. Ha! Kip wasn’t going to fall for that trap. Wearing an Urban Climber t-shirt and sporting an iPod blaring out Plain White T’s newest song, Kip next tried to mingle with the youth hanging in the boulder cave at the gym. Someone made a joke about their dislike of Justin Timberlake and Kip tried to add to the conversation, desperate to gain entry and gain answers. Unbeknownst to him, Timberlake was not part of New Kids on the Block, and Kip’s cover was blown. He ran away.
In his head he kept muttering, “5.14, 5.14, 5.14,” as if hymn of this repetition would unlock the quandry in which he found himself. “5.14, 5.14, 5.14…..” Then it came to him. 5+1+4 = 10. The power of ten – The freaking metric system! This conspiracy goes beyond the U.S. government. A world-wide plot is at hand. But to do what? Kip found himself further from the answers.
Kip may be jumping to conclusions. Perhaps he’s had too many late nights watching infomercials waiting for a good deal on a George Foreman grill. Kip might have a drinking problem. But Kip is not wrong about this. If you have any doubt, consider this. Fact – the youth of today are stronger and more technologically advanced than ever before. Fact–we are moving forward in a more technologically based society every day. Fact – governments
know that all children subconsciously have desires to either rule the world or at least play in a rock band. These facts being a given, it’s no wonder governments are targeting the children. Still not a believer? Send Kip your theories.
triscuittheories@hotmail.com