10.18.10
Joshua Tree Climbing
Flew in Thursday night and right from the get go, it was clear that I should not be operating motor vehicles. Driving according to Grand Theft Auto rules, I managed to skip traffic lights, pull across traffic for a delayed three point turn, and later proceeded to hang a left from the hotel into oncoming traffic. But don’t worry. I pulled all the way around in a full circle hopping the edge of the curb. Who would have thought that Andy should be the one behind the wheel?
The first day of climbing started with a couple small hiccups as I slipped off the first pitch of the day, twice. Having just put in my second piece of pro, my foot popped, giving Andy a good reason to stay awake for the rest of the trip. Andy, having made a wonderful catch to keep me off the deck, went back to his dual duty of photographer and belayer as only he can.
Dismissing a less than inviting route description from the guidebook, Andy cast off on DungFu next and, wouldn’t you know, it turned out to one of the coolest climbs we did all weekend. As climbing company started to roll in, we moved over the Dairy Queen wall and dusted off a couple more beautiful routes to complete our first day. The weather had been toasty in the sun, but quite beautiful in the shade. We figured going forward that if we paid attention to the guide book for sun exposure, we’d be able to hit the best climbs and avoid prolonged exposure to the sun.
I was hurting from the sun on Friday afternoon, and while I lay down with a washcloth over my face trying to quell a pounding headache (which made me puke up all the water in my system all over the parking lot) Andy ran across the street to make sure we had food and beer for the next couple days. After some recovery time, it was on to the night-life of Joshua Tree which consisted of either Sizzler or Applebees. Tough choice that it was, we went with Applebees. Local talent was out in full form and we enjoyed hanging at the bar with intellectually stimulation conversation all around us.
Saturday morning we returned to the rock and Andy led the SW Corner of Headstone wall. It was a truly exposed, headstrong lead with just enough protection in tough spots to make you pucker up a bit. Right next to that climb was a little sport route with nice thin moves and thin feet that I led. There was a couple that had just gotten off the route and their draws were already hung, and they offered to leave em, and well, how could I say no to that? 
We drove over to another new area for us and hopped on a route called Fote Hog. A cool two-pitch climb with really committing moves over pretty thin pro, Andy led the first pitch and let me mop up the enjoyable softer second pitch. By then the sun was really creeping over the route and we moved our way down to a series of well traveled and very popular single pitch climbs along a freestanding wall of rock that rises out of the desert as if someone put up the first wall of a stone castle and said, nah, I changed my mind.
I had originally left this part out of the first draft of the recap, but Andy was too kind to remind me that while we were walking towards the second set of climbs, I decided to pet a cactus. Actually, it looked squishy so I squeezed it. In hindsight, not such a smart idea. I had put about 100 little cactus needles into my thumb and pointer finger. These little buggers are hard to see and even harder to get out. I never claimed to be a bright man, so we’ll just move along.
Using the eyeball test, Andy picked out a fun climb called Butterfingers Make Me Horny. I joked that he was taking far too much gear for the length of the climb as he was only going to place 7 or 8 pieces, he reminded me that we’d been sewing up most of the climbs so far and he’d need more gear than one would normally place. For the record, he made the climb look ridiculously easy and placed only 6 pieces. Once I’d cleaned up his fine lead, it was my turn a bit further down the wall on a soft 5.6 called Ain’t Nothing But a J-Tree Thing. And yep, I put in six pieces as well.
Done with another fine day of climbing, we grabbed a bite to eat at a little café, checked out a small gear shop next door, and headed back to the hotel for a well deserved nap. Then, but of course, it was off to Applebees for another great night of sports watching from the bar. While Andy chatted up the locals, drank his vodka, and spewed every ounce of sports knowledge he had in him, I happily sat back and sipped my drink enjoying a headache-less evening.
We woke on Sunday at 5:30am to drive out and catch the sunrise in Joshua Tree. As expected, we were anything but disappointed. Orange, pink, and yellow hues cast over rocks painting the horizon and enveloping the desert in a glowing silhouette as we sat back practicing our amateur photographic skills. As it turns out, we weren’t the only ones waking up for the morning. As we approached the first rock of the day, we were greeted with the howls of the coyotes. For a few minutes, a choir of coyotes sang to the valley reminding us that we were on their turf. And just to hammer the wilderness point across, right at the base of our climb was a cute brown and white snake. Andy was soooo happy. I told him he should pet it as it would be softer than the cactus. Instead, he walked away and I took a photo with my feet dangling over him.
Focus quickly turned back to climbing, and we hopped on a warm up climb called Toe Jam and finished our short morning with a great 2 pitch climb called Overhang Bypass. Andy led the first pitch, about 70 feet of gulley crack giving way to an exposed bulge with some big commitment moves up and around a blind corner. Of course Andy wanted to protect the section well before pulling through, and of course, the protection is exactly where you want you best hands. But he cranked through it with no drama and I led the abbreviated second pitch that took us underneath a pumpy roof traverse to a welcomed bolt and a couple little slab moves to the top.
That’s all we had time for. Packed up and feeling quite content with ourselves, I’m writing this on our drive back to LAX. Hope you enjoyed the recap.